fear attack

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Throw myself to bed, should be followed by sweet dreams.  Couldn’t feel my body weight, soul was floating away.  Everything turned to blurry.

Suddenly, age flew into my mind.  Just like a month to a flame.  I did some math to calculate my age.  Yes, I need to do so after 18……

Job, money, my life, they came into my mind without asking.  Wanted to have changes for a long time but a lost soul.  Helpless feeling woke and scared me.

Found tears running on my cheeks.

Tried hard to think about what I had instead and appreciated it.  But it didn’t help at that weak moment.

Couldn’t help but let tears run and dry, till too tired to sleep.

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5 thoughts on “fear attack

  1. 🙂 do I know that feeling!? (Yes!). I applied for an ‘efficiency’ apartment so as to have a private room again yet remain in a space with people. (The point of that is to say do not just breathe) I’ll know shortly that I moved not to a place but begin to do so more permanently. I’ve my glasses and heh figures I can not really read well long (drat!) (so as to point out it isnt all roses but 🙂 ). Hug. Yes a big ol polar bear hug. 😁

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