It has been awhile.
Finally, got a message from you. Yes from “YOU”
“Just wanted to let you know something for your work”
What? “Work”? Nothing else?
It’s worse than just a hi. By saying “hi” I thought you were thinking about me, I thought you missing me, I thought you “care” about me.
What to do with my work? Heart is sinking.
Thanks for letting me know I did my job well. But you are not my boss and I never want to establish a “business relationship” with you.
Tear was running down. Heart breaking tear.
Your compliment turns to unbearable. What you said just like building a wall between us. Pushing me further away………
Am I too sensitive again? Am I too moody again?
mikalaa 
😦
hugs
“Am I too sensitive again? Am I too moody again?”
Answer: Most likely. =)
You have to know by now that men are very constipated when it comes to expressing emotions besides anger. There is a general subconscious fear of opening up and being emotionally vulnerable.
So what typically happens is if a guy wants to show interest, it will come indirectly like paying you a compliment or providing assistance in some way.
Women, of course are usually much more direct.
The difference in expression is part of what builds up the big conflicts in relationships.
Solution: Patience and try to teach him to communicate on a deeper level without triggering his defense. What I mean is don’t sound angry or hurt and accusatory, but thank him for the compliment and follow it up with saying while you’re appreciative that he noticed your superior work, what you would appreciate even more is him expressing how he feels about you personally. Then you say something personal about him to set an example and compare it to something non personal like he said. The key is to do this cheerfully to avoid a defensive response.
These things likely sound so obvious to you, but it’s not to most men. Most men are very underdeveloped emotionally so you have to teach them as you would a toddler. =)
well, you are right but might be it wouldn’t be applied to a guy who had dates with me for a couple of times. Who asked me out and asked me home very directly. Things changed after going to his place. Well, might be just coincident. But then he was unwilling to wait for me for 30 mins longer than the time he preferred to meet. No reply from him when I asked if he wants me to hang around, wait for him to have a cup of coffee.
I am thankful he appreciated what I have done to help his business. I appreciated he let me know I can help. It’s sort of care right? But it’s not the care I want…….
There a lot for me to learn about men……..
I have to keep “cheerful and avoid a defensive response”. Will remember that. Treasure your advice. =)
sometimes we won’t get what we are looking for. but don’t let this discourages you. this just means the right one is still out there. hang in there. HUGS.
Thanks…….