Right one


Read a passage online, wanted to share

Instead of asking if we found the right one, we should ask if we are willing to love and learn the person we found.  Everyone could be the right one if we want.  It depends on our decisions.

Here is the passage


During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is NOT finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO.”


9 thoughts on “Right one

  1. I remember an odd set of scenes now 15 years nearly gone. imagine a spunky later year’s red head…remember i was 26 then 😉 i am probably older than her then, now… standing in the moonlight beating on a bass about the path to the girl’s dorm at summer camp… no real songs to play but little impressions of styles we all knew – and the SEX pistols…”SIIDDDD! (sid) whap whap whap no one could really hear him anyways as he was pretty not pretty good at playing so they oops turned his amp off often :D… now flit to another seen sitting in doo doo brown outdoor paint oversided overbuilt chairs smoking as the lazy evening came on… I don’t know how the conversation pretty started but one of the others came up… oh so and so? she could wear sack cloth and ashes and make it look like evening wear… 😛 later this pretty lass went to russia on a church mission.. I remember writing a series of letters knowing i couldn’t send them in sequenced time for her to get them by actual post so she had to take them along. flit again to the same spot overlooking the lazy sun going by as the summer s always do… she’d returned pretty one and like as in a movie ran to be swept up in in a hug…sure shocked me… didn’t “see that coming” of course to ruin this 😉 skip to the same seen overlooking the way to the gal’s dorm but in the day as pretty one red a book…which one? one on relationships. now fast forward a year i returned to a mainly new crop of characters and many visited including pretty one with her husband. did you ever wonder if you missed a moment? made a wrong play? should i have hugged fake-o movie style? 😉 longer version of this is i also saw the older red head now ruined re-dyed black at the grocery in town also well ensconced in a new romance. and AWWWWWW… another year of the same no one for me 😉 did you know it’s rather easy to remember the feeling… a chicago song before peter cetera left the band to go solo…him and bill champlain got together to write a barn burner about memories hinting about true romance…a one night stand at best with a hooker. you know adult material… like toddler’s singing the beach boy’s help me rhonda, help me get her out of my heart…wrong somehow. but i do, i remember the feeling. now, I do not doubt the wisdom of bullshit relationship books saying just about nearly anyone ‘ll do so long as YOU choose them… for everything i could say someone could live the opposite true… but such is my experience that such is about the biggest pile of horse sha poopoo there is. I don’t WANT just anyone… and even in my weaker moments of let’s just go shoe shopping so I can buy a pair to walk like someone else – fake it til you make it….bunk. all this is flippin’ grand til one sees the reality of it’s a twice chosen thing, romance once by you and again by the other each and every moment…and with this choice is the expectations unspoken always but obvious as the flash of their eyes or if that was missed the emptiness of not even a goodbye.. in my experience not just anyone’ll do. how did i know this only means i pick seemingly alone…lol aww again lol. now, flash forward to a later ongoing romance I can invent them and point out same detail it takes a second choice. there is no entrapping allowed for me probably good, i don’t need to be a megamaniacal maniac jerk 😉 but flash forward to many a romance new some older too as in years again in the making 🙂 one’s married the other always was or lets expand all the romances in one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven,twelve, thirteen good enough one a year since the 01-02 you had I can call them romances but do they even remember my name? 😉 again with the awws lol trust me this isn’t the point at all. but in love it’s better when two fall into it.. 😀 now most were interested one dumped me for a friend of mine then got into a love triangle without him and got herself dumped to his amusement- that was funny because my mother foretold in a divination for the year I’d be involved in a love triangle and I was hopeful…sue me 😀 and see! it came true I was involved but not asked to enjoy myself at all – stopped regularly owning or keeping phone service ever onward as all i did was pay to call others choosing others but me to pay to pass their times tween the other they wanted choosing them. another was all sortsa needy and fun but even if we ended up on a safe date lol my own mom chaperoned that one at the chinese…do not care for walnut shrimp…yuck. and later her health nose dived and she wasn’t interested but remember western luck is 7 and she 7 times 7 or double unlucky as all 49 year olds ARE for me all fun but so fast choose another hmph. one dumped me to then date me for an epic tea and meade outting the reason being i’d say off things and hurt her feelings eventually… she moved in with the guy who did just that after whilst interested in me was driving for late evenings with another til that petered out but remember her efforts all went to another i didn’t know. the next years hot romance had me bust a 3 year lease to move in with her but never said yes so I moved in with a friend bit me for my birthday and never called and six months later when i sat in i.c.u. to not see her…I aot to realize it was over months ago. the next married wanting out house afire til i asked it’d be more then dumped on my ass cause i was interested in calling her… repeat of the same reason in there i lost another pal of years because i didn’t want to be the pen pal but the friend… now while i’m lousey in timing understand why i might send a real gift or want a card now… I want more than nothing. fancy that choice… the other wanted love i liked her we argued like cats and dogs every single day was an argument i couldn’t fall for a lifetime of no peace and or jail because I swore she wouldn’t quit til she won and thus obviously I LOST i left the first time after she got on the phone out of the blue just to call me over to punch me in the family jewels because “that’s how you treat guys” real barn burner romance..well like a bad penny i returned once or twice more and it was maybe and fun then fimme money so I can see this ex boyfriend’s girlfriend’s kid so I can see an image of him he’s dead…so much for maybe getting married that was my test i said no..two years later to return to a 13 hour stay where she’d not talk til she’d confirmed her friend male would arrive to chat secretly with her in her room for an hour or two 😉 thump goes the night gee duh what would you think? anyways the other also another fourtyniner after ilting me after a phony address refused to meet me at all a minor drive away of an hour ish i’d taken a bus for sixteen I don’t drive… returns in all her fun glory again i never noticed that every action and cent went to chase the other she married and neglected to remember the jilting because i love you is supposed to mean something? anyways another 40 er never caught on to oh she did also a pretty i sat to dinner with and or two significant actions later it was obvious I didn’t pass whatever muster another lucky 40er damn fun hug have a nice postcard from sanfrancisco 😉 another was a small array of dates and a church visit yuck – to not be interested in a relationship after a electric kiss good night….she also wasn’t interested in actually eating so therefor actually died. the next flirt after the best of times shows up…with her boyfriend all sorts of a hand taller than me unemployed no car via her mother driving them borth as he moved in…I guess you’d aww me for some of these but don’t that’s hardly the point the point is til i see it them not choosing me over and over i will repeat these lessons til i learn them… but or bust so goes the nights. one was only interested in a car and a bag of dope…thankfully that wasn’t MY marriage chance gone tits or his next who had three heart attacks to die inbetween having cold feet marrying him… i get far more lucky you see than it seems 😉 another wanted my friend traveled all over towns to show up on his birthday for a blowjob or whatever, he wasn’t interested finally after charming her mother’s landlord into moving in and getting dumped again married another for a couple of more kids and a complete shit. haircut. I hate the newly marriage haircut YUCK they’re all the same they same good bye beauty. ick ick cik. well before all that my chance got laughter as it wasn’t original sin but yesterday’s t-shirt boring done that already to her. a couple of lesser hopefuls as in sweet they were but never enough evidence you’d call them sweet on me- well i caught the hey my boyfriend’s jealous i talk to you so much…finally just as that almost heated up six weeks off and engaged…poof. another waited til i got to town then never answered her phone..however my previous ex probably saw to that lol 😉 I’ll really never know though I couldn’t hear the call it was short but how short did she answer this other? dunno but literally she never answered again…bitch chased my love affair away lol… 😀 now another in there a true if decidedly wrong chase of someone who said she was slightly illegal underage for us dork old guys…well aspell of me became a chat with another of my pals who stole her heart or conversation time away well into being legal and just as it could be more he found out as i did as she reappeared only essentially to say she found the love of her life neither of us thanks for the chats. actually about the kindest of any of them… an acknowledgement it was what is. so you see lol I put this here on purpose in every dripping word. you can choose anyone you would like but so the same is said, they must choose you. I have infinite examples of more than this really I have another ten years more of romances even still and probably forgot one or two lol… but so it is, the closest i came was a maybe trist with one…but didn’t wish to have no no with her way too old child talking at that point next to us…my only chance was depravity not chosen as if she even knew that too damn it. still never chosen just toyed with lol and awwwwww 😀 but again. all the best advice in the world is shit til the other chooses back. and laugh a little and hug, I get the occasional misfortune too 😉 i’m rather sure we all do or there wouldn’t be a new love song every other week 😀

    • hey hey, sorry to know you had so much bad experiences but I hope some of them bring you sweet memories as well!
      Well, of course the one you choose must feel the same to you. The point is after choosing each other, you might feel a bit lost and questioned if that’s the right one? She is the right one to you if you both are willing to “make it works”
      Like 50 years ago? most people get married after blind date, but most of them stick together and spending the rest of life.
      I wish you more luck ahead and loves as well.

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